Dr Neil Stanley Independent Sleep Expert
© Dr. Neil Stanley 2013-2017
15 jokes about sleep from a 100 years ago. They are perhaps not the funniest jokes ever written but they have a certain charm. They were published in various English newspapers From 1889 - When you are trying to sleep, it is not pleasant to hear two dogs, half a mile apart, discussing a dog- matical difference of opinion. From 1889 - STRANGE, isn't it, that a sound sleep is generally result of a soundless sleep. From 1897 - Con Vivial: Doctor, my wife suffers greatly from insomnia.' Physician: Insomnia? How do you know?' Con Vivial: Why, every time I come home at two or three o'clock in the morning, I always find her wide awake.' From 1898 - Teacher: 'What do you understand by insomnia?' Pupil: That's when people stay awake all night trying to go to sleep.' From 1898 IN A BAD WAY.  FIRST LOAFER I believe I've got insomnier. SECOND LOAFER Can't yer sleep at night FIRST LOAFER Yes, but I can't sleep in the daytime, too, like I uster. From 1899 - "Doctor," said he, "I'm a victim of insomnia. I can't, sleep if there's the least noise such as a cat on the back fence, for instance." "This powder will be effective," replied the physician after compounding a prescription. "When do I take it, doctor?" "You don’t take it. You give it to the cat, in a little milk. From 1900 - ESCAPE. Mr. Kawdle: I wish you wouldn't interrupt me every time I try to say something. Do I ever break in when you are talking? Mrs. Kawdle: No, you wretch; you go to sleep. From 1904 - Borem (11 p.m.) "Yes; I'm a perfect martyr to insomnia. I've tried everything I ever heard of, but I simply can't get to sleep at night. Miss Cutting (suppressing a yawn): "Did you try talking to yourself after going to bed? From 1908 - TOO BAD: First Toiler: My doctor ordered me to drink beer for insomnyer. Second Toiler: Can't you sleep, then? First Toiler: Only at night From 1909 - "I cannot get my wife to listen to a word I say.” Why don't you pretend to be talking in your sleep? From 1910 - No, Willie," said the nurse, "no more cakes to-night. Don't you know you can't sleep on a full stomach?" "Well," said the indomitable Willie. “I can sleep on my back, can't I”. From 1910 - Patient I am troubled with insomnia. What would you recommend?  Doctor A good refreshing sleep seven nights in the week, five dollars please From 1910 - "Does your wife talk in her sleep?” "Rather! At least, I presume she sleeps occasionally!" From 1914-"And you say that Brownley was cured of a bad attack of insomnia by suggestion?" "Yes purely by suggestion! His wife suggested that since he could not sleep he might as well sit up and amuse the baby. It worked like a charm." From 1916 - "Do you know that you talk in your sleep, Henry?" asked Mrs Peck. "Well do you begrudge me those few words also?" he snapped back.